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yo homies you best be trippin over to da 'follow' button cause other wise thats the only thin you'll be tappin am I right, or am I right?

dis badass hustler blog is a mix of my bitches one direction and the rest is basically humor that will make your nips bleed icecream and make yo laugh so hard that jellybeans start poppin outta ya bellybutton galfrand

also what does the definition for twerk in the dictionary actually say? to jiggle ones butt? to shake ones booty? to powersass the ass? to turn on the vibrate button for the touchie?

snapchatting:

stop what you’re doing and adore me

Parents: Teenagers don't communicate anymore
Parents : Teenagers don't speak to us any more
Parents: It's all Facebook messaging now
Parents : No one communicates with their children
Parents : It's all about communication
Parents: Teenagers should talk to us more
Teenager: Well, I'm really stressed out about these test and lately i've felt really crap and-
Parents: Gosh, all you do is moan.

thereadysext:

If ever you feel stupid, remember that one time my twin brother forgot my birthday.

thesataniclittleangel:

sherlockianwho:

mcjugs:

hey this is normal shit

FUCKING ANGRY SHIT 

this is whispering shit

THIS IS SERIOUS SHIT

scared to say things shit

fucking pay attention shit

I hope I wasn’t the only one who read this in different voices.

no you weren’t

maxterbate:

maxterbate:

Why dont you guys want Yahoo to buy Tumblr?

Free chocolate milk for everyone

imagei have just been informed on this

ccal:

how do u relationship

thisnoiseismusic:

thisnoiseismusic:

dude in nike socks and flip flops just tried giving me fashion advice

basically he said that floral print is a “little gay” and that I’d look better dressing more “normal”. apparently the male ego cannot handle a fucking flower without feeling threatened.

kalikardashian:

thelilnan:

OH FOR FUCK’S SAKE

OKAY

AJAX SOAP

image

THEIR SLOGAN IS “STRONGER THAN GREASE”

AND I WAS LIKE OKAY YEAH MAKES SENSE FOR A DISH SOAP- WAIT

AJAX WAS A GREEK SOLDIER RENOWNED FOR HIS STRENGTH

AJAX IS STRONGER THAN ALL OF GREECE

someone who worked at ajax has literally waited 66 years for you to get this

nakedly:

you are not fat
you have fat 
you also have fingernails 
you are not fingernail 

captain-mycaptain:

dirku:

nonomella:

that terrifying moment when everything is happily resolved but the book still has 200 pages left

that terrifying moment when there’s too many things that need resolving but the book has only 20 pages left

EITHER WAY

IT’S JUST LIKE

image

agentbering:

jessepumpkin:

i can only handle so much socializing until i get tired and start getting irritated towards everyone and want to go home and sleep or lock myself in my room and go on the computer

#but until I reach that point I’m a fucking delight and you should appreciate that

kingdomheartsnyctophiliac:

OKAY THE FACT THAT ‘IMAGES’ IS NO LONGER THE SECOND LINK ON GOOGLE IS DRIVING ME UP THE WALL

NO I DON’T WANT TO WATCH VIDEOS

NO I DON’T WANT TO GO SHOPPING

JUST TAKE ME TO THE FRICKING IMAGES

digitalfisticuffs:

boazpriestly:

blueberrytoast:

boazpriestly:

presidentjesus:

As soon as you turn the lights off start masturbating. No monster wants to see that shit. While doing it, stare at the corner and whisper, tenderly, “this is for you”.

And then the shadows growl at you and say, “Mine. You’re all mine.”

Proceed to have a secret relationship with the monster in your closet to make the shadows jealous.

Plot Twist: The Monster wants a threesome with you and the shadows. 

image

grinderman2:

*tips fedora at mosquito* m’laria


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